So kids are a super-sensitive subject for most people. The reason being is that these are the closest people to us. Our job is to protect and provide for them. So when we think someone is out to hurt our children we automatically go into defense mode. When you get with someone if they already have kids this is a definite conversation. Remember finances were #1 for divorce well kids come right behind that as #2. So when you get in a relationship with someone have the kid conversation. How do you want your kids raised? How do you want to discipline your kids?
Another question is what are your parenting styles? Are you very strict or are you super lenient? You need to know how your partner's parents because if you all aren't on the same page, the kids can and will play you all against each other. Remember children are selfish and want everything they want and how they want it. Children are willing to do whatever it takes to get what they want.
If there's a more strict parent, then you all should probably let them be disciplinary. You should all agree together on how the parenting will go and stick to it. Also, the kids can't be allowed to go to the nicer parent and get what they want.
And it helps to play towards your strengths and weaknesses. If one parent is the nicer and one is more strict bounce ideas off each other. You want all consequences to be balanced. Not too harsh and we don't want the kids running wild.
Also, be patient and understanding when someone else is disciplining your child. Make sure it's coming from a good place and know that if it is, this person is only doing for your child what they think is right. Also, pay attention though, to make sure someone is not mistreating your child. As long as you all are on the same page with the children you will be fine.
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